Hypnotically terrible: readers on 15 so-bad-theyre-brilliant Christmas movies
MoviesWhether you want to watch the story of a killer shark, a royal romance or a long-eared donkey, these films have got you covered
A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding (2018)
The first film in the A Christmas Prince series features sledding, festive markets and a coronation. Thankfully, this follow-up provides the opportunity to dive into the political economy of Aldovia, which is mysteriously haemorrhaging money – a problem which must be solved by the royal family. In my favourite scene, a frustrated protester holds a placard with the simple message “WHY?!”, which sums up my feelings on settling down to watch this film every year since its release in 2018. And yet, I do. It’s painfully low budget and the dialogue is clunky – but it never fails to make me laugh. Rebecca, London
Holiday in Handcuffs (2006)
A desperate thirtysomething, played by Melissa Joan Hart, is dumped by her boyfriend and, in order to avoid the shame of not bringing a fella home for Christmas, kidnaps Mario Lopez (Saved by the Bell). The hoops the film jumps through to explain why he doesn’t leave are wonderfully stupid. As the story progresses, we learn about her figure-skating expertise with an Olympic-level skating montage, and how she dreams of becoming an artist despite her drawings looking like something you would find stuck to a fridge. A heartwarming Christmas tale. Greg, Galway
12 Dates of Christmas (2011)
A poor man’s Groundhog Day with Amy Smart as the protagonist instead of Bill Murray. Essentially, the protagonist must learn to be nicer to people and not obsess over her five-year plan. It takes her 12 renditions of Christmas Eve to get it right and it always makes me laugh. Tom Sharman, speechwriter, Newcastle upon Tyne
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Technically, this is a Christmas film and it is regularly talked about as one of the worst films ever made. I don’t see what there is to dislike about a roaring shark, crappy special effects and a vengeful fish that can swim over a thousand miles in a matter of days. Add in a terrifying banana boat scene and Michael Caine as a crooked cockney and you have yourself a so-bad-it’s-good Christmas film for all time. Jamie Tingle, tutor, Wirral
The Boy Who Saved Christmas (1998)
This film is a ludicrous affair and yet a beloved annual festive treat in our household. The acting is bewilderingly bad, the plot is full of gaping holes and the location is entirely inappropriate, but it is truly wonderful. This story of a boy who rescues an amnesiac Santa from his kidnappers with a little help from an elf doesn’t embody any traditional “Christmas spirit”, but I’d highly recommend it. Pete Wolf, manager, Gateshead
Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey (1977)
This is a little-known Rankin/Bass stop-motion Christmas special about a donkey with abnormally long ears who overcomes adversity to transport Mary to Bethlehem. He is also credited with finding her the stable to give birth in! There is a cherub named Tilly, plenty of songs, and my personal favourite part: a handful of American nickels standing in for Roman silver. I have loved this movie my entire life and make my family watch it every year. Rachael, advocate, New York
Jingle All the Way (1996)
Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Howard, a dad who has promised his six-year-old son a Turbo Man action figure, yet inexplicably leaves it until Christmas Eve to actually buy the thing, then finds that it is sold out everywhere. The storyline is full of holes and the ending is entirely predictable, but at the heart of this film is a man who is desperate to demonstrate to his son that he loves him, at Christmas. Pass the popcorn. Laura Shephard, lecturer, Harpenden
Christmas in Connecticut (1945)
Barbara Stanwyck plays the Martha Stewart of her day: a lifestyle guru who cooks wonderful food, decorates a fabulous house and raises a wonderful family. Of course, in reality she is single, living in an apartment in New York and can’t cook. The plot of this 1940s romcom, which also involves a baby and a recuperating US navy sailor, is hardly believable, but the film is beautiful and Stanwyck looks fabulous. Anonymous, North Dakota
Christmas in Wonderland (2006)
Patrick Swayze plays a down-on-his-luck dad whose kids go on a spending spree after finding a bag of counterfeit money, while being chased by two hapless villains and a “Scottish” detective. The movie received diabolical reviews but it has its moments of hilarity and has become part of our countdown-to-Christmas tradition. With so many formulaic Christmas B movies being made for the streaming market, this film is a breath of fresh air for family viewing. Martin Crowson, teaching assistant, North Yorkshire
The Christmas Listing (2020)
On paper, the premise of this movie reads more like a true-crime podcast than feelgood fuzzy festive fare: the owners of an inn make competing local estate agents stay at it so they can decide which of them gets to sell it on their behalf. It was filmed in a real B&B, which means it’s quaint and pretty to look at, but the audio is awful. This is a hypnotically terrible movie, which makes it an absolute joy to sit through with anyone who’s never seen it before. Anonymous, Glasgow
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)
Alpine scenery never looked this good in Panavision Technicolor and the late-60s styling is gorgeous. Ian Fleming’s plot is ridiculously fantastical in the best Bond tradition and it has a festive romance to break one’s heart, to the tune of John Barry’s finest 007 score. Oh, and George Lazenby’s debuting spy is actually pretty impressive. Ian Sciacaluga, film-maker, Dorking
The Princess Switch (2018)
Some people think that High School Musical is Vanessa Hudgens’s finest performance, but they are wrong. The Princess Switch has Christmas tropes layered on Christmas tropes: multiple (royal) romances, a Christmas wedding, competitive baking madness and even a fictional country. It’s just the right amount of “bad” to make for excellent viewing. Highly recommended. Jess, Oxford
Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)
Technically this is a comedy, but sometimes it’s hard to tell – you’ll find the cheesiness of the one-dimensional characters the thing that makes you laugh the most. The plot, if you can call it that, involves Santa coming to LA to find his replacement but getting into trouble because he can’t function on Earth. Our hero, Ernest, believes in Santa and commits to helping him. A truly awful but accidentally hilarious festive film. Elizabeth, psychologist, Birmingham
A Christmas Carol (2000)
I’m a big fan of this made-for-TV film starring Ross Kemp as a hammy but fun modern-day Scrooge. It has a stellar cast and is just a really simple bit of entertainment. For years you couldn’t get it anywhere, but it’s now available to stream. It is cheesy, dated and I love it! Rebecca Hodkin, teacher, Sheffield
While You Were Sleeping (1995)
This is one of my proud guilty pleasures. Sandra Bullock is our lonely heroine, stuck in a crappy life. But then she meets a man! Just one problem: he’s in a coma. She meets his family, they believe her to be his partner, and all manner of stupidity ensues. A great cast and some beautifully shot Christmas scenes. Get this Christmas cracker on your watch list! Becc Dawg, supermarket employee, Edinburgh
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